


May Our Paths Cross Again

by pastel_blue



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Air Temples (Avatar), Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Developing Relationship, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fire Nation Royal Family, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Kyoshi Island, Recovery, Romance, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:28:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25578862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastel_blue/pseuds/pastel_blue
Summary: Growth takes time, but love is timeless: This is a realistic redemption arc for Azula (and tyzula dynamic). We're digging deep into Azula's trauma and emotions, as well as Ty Lee's character. This is a heartfelt story about a child who lost her way in the arms of a family who couldn't love her, only so she could find it again in the arms of another.Azula releases herself from the mental health institute four years after the Last Agni Kai. She leaves behind two letters: one for her brother and one for Ty Lee.Sometimes two people have to go separate ways to realize they are on the same path...
Relationships: Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Comments: 50
Kudos: 171





	1. A Home for The Ones Who Have Lost Their Ways

**Author's Note:**

> This is my version of Azula's redemption and TyZula dynamic. Enjoy :)

“Firelord, Zuko. It as an honor.”

Zuko is standing in his Fire-Lord demeaner in front of a woman in a white coat with subtle red lines running down her arms. His hair is up in the royal hairpiece, his shoulders hidden from spiky armor. Four years of ruling the Fire Nation has had a toll on him. He looks double the age he is. He has wrinkles on his forehead from all the pondering over the war-table, contemplating his next best move to pay amends to the other three nations for the terror his father had caused.

The woman in the white coat bows down until she can see the red and white fabric on her shoes.

“There is no need, Healer Zen. I’m here to see my sister, as planned.” He smiles accomplished, revealing his youthful heart that he has to keep hidden from the outside world.

He knows the way to her room like the back of his hand. The familiar scent of the wooden walls, the red and orange paint leaving a feeling of home. The many colors of the sun spreading across the walls, leaving light on every door. Tapestries of flowers lightening up the atmosphere with blue, purple and pink. The signs of all four nations hanging from the ceiling, inviting the visitor to see the balance of their unity.

That’s what he wanted her to have: unity. A balanced home where she can find to herself like he did on his journey with uncle Iroh.

After the last Agni Kai four years ago, his first order as Firelord was to build a facility for the mentally ill. He knows, without his uncle’s help and his mother’s love he would have never reached for the light. He would have lived in the darkness as a victim of his father’s abuse and his culture’s knifing pressure on honor. He would have ended up just like his sister. Never escaping the emptiness of his heart; never escaping the demons that haunted him late at night.

He still sees her face. The blue flames shooting out of her fists, her eyes out of focus, her hair out of order, her tearful laugh and scream shocking his heart like lightning until this day. His little sister, who was the most confident leader and most skilled Firebender of the Royal Fire Academy, was broken. The best strategist by only 14 years old, superior to generals who had decades of experience making them look like _they_ were the children in training. The Fire Nation’s prodigy, who never had a choice but to obey. The Crown Princess who was punished by her own mother for looking and acting too much like her father, refusing to show her the same love she showed Zuko. Zuko knows their mother failed Azula. And so did he.

It took only seven months for the best architects, engineers and healers to build a _Home for The Ones Who Have Lost Their Ways_. Uncle Iroh was very stern on calling it this, rather than anything that implies sickness or hopelessness. He insisted that every patient would be treated as equal, and that every patient deserved the kindness of someone who he would share his favorite tea with.

Zuko was determined to give back the love he so graciously received when he couldn’t give it himself. Avatar Aang supported his vision in order to restore peace and balance in the world. Aang knew the importance of a clear mind, as he had struggled with it himself. The air nomads were praised for their spiritual laws and Aang didn’t hesitate when Zuko asked his friend to share his wisdom with the new Healers.

Letting his memories flow he didn’t realize the Healer’s hesitance. Looking down to her feet standing in place waiting for him to speak.

“Is something wrong?” he frowns.

“My Lord, please forgive me. When I ran through my daily check-ups, the Princess’s chamber was empty.” Her voice almost too quiet to hear.

Zuko leans in: “What do you mean empty?”

This wouldn't be the first time they can’t find Azula. In her first year of residence she attempted to run away, setting bushes and benches on fire on her way out. Zuko had never been able to calm her down and make her go back. He tried to force her with bending, to harm her just enough so he could drag his little sister back into her chambers, but it only made things worse. Only after he asked Iroh for his wisdom Zuko never tried again. He relied on his uncle to restrain the Princess and convince her to come back. Sometimes, after he found her aimlessly screaming fire on the nearby beach, tears falling into the sand reflecting the loneliness in her heart, he would just sit with her. She would scream and insult him, shoot blue fireballs at him only to exhaust her powers until she fell down to her knees, too weak to even breathe. After she had fallen into a deep coma of exhaustion, Iroh was able to carry her back into her new home.

“She has signed herself out, my Lord.” The healer reveals.

“No, she couldn’t have. Only I and General Iroh have the authority to do so.” he begins to stumble, his confusion written on his face. She is probably just at the beach or hiding in one of her secret hiding spots. He knows her. She wouldn’t just leave, would she? After all these years…

Pity in her eyes and feeling a sting in her stomach seeing her Firelord as if he were a little boy who lost his mother, she eventually says: “She left two letters, my Lord. One assigned to you and one to Miss Ty Lee.”

His jaw tenses, his teeth biting something that isn’t there. The healer reading his discomfort and confusion hands him the letter with his name on it.

_Zuko (or should I say my Firelord),_

_As you can tell I have left and if you’re only half as smart as I am, you know there is no use to follow me. I don’t know when I will be back, but it will be long enough for me to move on. You should, as well. Tell uncle I will remember his teachings._

_Azula_

_PS: Take care of her for me. Give her anything she wants. She deserves nothing less than royalty. Please, Zuko._

His hands already heating up, the flames running through his veins making his blood boil. Sweat emerging through his now pale skin. He wanted to set it on fire. To show her that there is no way she can just run away from this. That after all this time she will always be the Crown Princess and that she can live with him in the palace. That she doesn’t have to run off live in the desert and eat insects. That she doesn’t have to sleep in a cave in the Earth-Kingdom and ponder over her next move. That she doesn’t have to go through what he went through. That she doesn’t have to punish herself for all the things she did, but that she can be whole again. Here with him. In their home. As a family.

Close to tears, realizing that this time she really has left, he swallows his agony, fighting his urge to cry and then simply nods at the Healer.

“Thank you, Zen.”

In the exact moment, the front door blasts open revealing a cheery girl with big grey eyes and a brown braid running down her back. Her energy hitting Zuko like a fireball. It is Ty Lee, looking happier than she ever has. A big smile on her face she dances into the hall. The acrobat looks older, more mature. Her outfit pink as ever, yet parts of red running down on the side of her legs and arms connecting her to her Fire Nation heritage. Her voice only a little lower than four years ago, but still sounding like a bird who just learned how to fly.

“I’m here and I’m late but I just wanted to wash off my face paint and change before the big celebration. I can’t believe we kept it hidden from her for so long, Zuko. She’ll be so excited!” Ty Lee says, a huge smile on her face running up to Zuko, hugging him as the dear friend he has grown to be over the years.

“Ty Lee-“, he tries to form a sentence.

“Oh no. Did I miss it? Did you already tell her? Zuko, you promised you would wait for me!” she now pouts at her Fire Lord, ready to chi-block him right at this spot.

* * *

She hasn’t been able to sleep for the past week. Running up and down her room, unable to hold back her excitement to see her Princess come home. Laying on her bed she would spread out her arms and legs smiling by the image of running into Azula in their shared hallway. Since the Kyoshi Warriors became the Fire Lord’s security guards she was given a generous room to live withing the royal palace.

She had spent the past four years hoping and praying to the universe to give Azula another chance. She had seen it. She had seen the good in her. The gentleness in her eyes when she looked at Ty Lee performing one of her new acrobat moves, the fierceness in her voice when she wanted to create something bigger than herself and the laughter that escaped her mouth when Ty Lee did one of her Zuko-Imitations when Mai wasn’t around. She had seen it and now she needed the world to see it. To see _her_.

In the beginning Ty Lee would sit outside the _Home for The Ones Who Have Lost Their Ways_ and wait. She would hear Azula scream and shout horrible things at the healers. She would see blue flames shooting out of the Firebender’s window only to ignite a close standing tree. She would hear the healers struggle to calm her down, trying to force her into a meditative state while she was lashing out in anger. She had heard it all. And she would visit her.

She never opened the door. She would sit in front of her room, her back leaning against the door unable to move. Not knowing what to say if she went inside. If she would even be allowed or if Azula wouldn’t hesitate twice to burn her alive. Sometimes she cried in agony, her heart being torn apart by the pain her Princess was living through. Sometimes she just zoned out forgetting about all the things that had led her to where she was. On other nights she would look at the beautiful art in the hallway, studying it and smiling at the thought of what could be, only to be ripped out of her dream by a healer asking her to leave because visiting hours were over. She obeyed silently, as always.

After what must had been two months of weekly visits, sitting in her usual spot, she heard Azula’s voice from the other side of the door: “I’m sorry.” She almost couldn’t hear, and she had the urge to reply, but she stayed quiet. _I’m sorry…_ Is all she said, and all that Ty Lee needed to hear to ignite the fire in her heart. She didn’t know how long Azula had sat with her in silence or if she knew from the very first time that she was accompanying her or if one of the healers had told her. She didn’t care nonetheless, for there it was. The proof that Ty Lee had waited for: Azula will find her way.

The following week she dared to knock very quietly, almost inaudible. When her knock wasn’t answered she knocked again, a little stronger this time, but still gentle. The same way she used to stroke Azula’s cheek in comfort when they were younger, and no one was looking.

“You shouldn’t come in.”, she heard Azula say closer to the door than Ty Lee expected.

“I might hurt you.”, she whispers, unable to hide the guilt and fear in her voice.

“Okay.”, Ty Lee smiles, feeling as if the weight of a hundred tons was just lifted off her shoulders. And without another word she sat down leaning against the door like every other week. She respected the Princess’ boundaries. Both sat in silence for hours which only felt like minutes. Stretching out the time and comfort both needed during this time. It was dark outside, the moon spirit shining through the hallway window, she thought Azula fell asleep, so she got up, ready to leave.

She startled when she heard her voice again: “Will you come back?”. Ty Lee stepped closer to the door, leaning her forehead and hand flat against the wood imagining what it would feel like to feel Azula’s embrace: “Always.”, she said and left. 

Azula felt better by the week, even if it wasn’t notable to everyone. Ty Lee knew. She saw the subtle changes in behavior. She heard her say “thank you” and “please” more than she had ever heard the Princess say those words of gratitude in her whole life. She saw how the healers would now enter her room less tense and would leave her room with a genuine smile. She saw how hard she was trying to be better and eventually, Azula opened her door and Ty Lee was allowed to step in.

The first time she felt quite awkward. After all it had been over a year and she saw how Azula was struggling with her decision. She held her hands behind her back as if she were a child restricted to not use them. Ty Lee knew she hid them from her because they had been her weapon and she couldn’t risk the acrobat getting hurt. Ty Lee appreciated the gesture and as cheerful as she was, took the lead and simply sat down on the floor keeping a comfortable distance between the both of them and talked about her new job as a Kyoshi Warrior.

She heard Azula snort once or twice. The idea of Ty Lee joining the very group they imitated and tried to destroy was ironic, and Ty Lee knew it, but she was enjoying to get a reaction from the Firebender. The acrobat explained her everything about the rituals of Kyoshi and also shared stories about her new favorite Avatar. Ty Lee didn’t know if Azula was interested, but she never complained or said otherwise. Ty Lee thought, if it helped her stay connected to the outside world she would continue. At some point she would run out of things to talk about, so she just smiled at her and then looked away when she realized she was making the Princess uncomfortable. The way she was sitting made her heart melt. Her arms hugging her knees and her chin resting on her hands, sometimes nodding, sometimes frowning and sometimes even giggling to whatever Ty Lee was saying. She had never seen Azula this vulnerable. This relaxed.

The longer time passed, the closer they grew. It must had been two years after Azula was first relocated that she asked Ty Lee to comb her hair. Surprised, but happy, Ty Lee didn’t hesitate to follow her wish and Ty Lee didn’t ask why the mirror on the wall was shattered into hundreds of tiny pieces. She would be overly careful, making sure she wouldn’t accidently touch the Firebender inappropriately, and she would always ask “is this okay?” to make sure that her feelings are being acknowledged and her boundaries respected. They would go for walks in the spacious garden of the facility, Ty Lee telling Azula about the different types of flowers and their spiritual meanings. And when Azula pointed at a purple larkspur asking for its meaning, Ty Lee blushed and only after Azula raised her eyebrows demanding an answer Ty Lee whispered: “It symbolizes ones first love.”. Feeling the heat rising up to her skull, Azula turned away acting suddenly overly interested in the next set of flowers. Ty Lee only smiled.

But Ty Lee had to admit to herself that she couldn’t expect Azula to get better overnight or that she will only be part of the good days. On bad nights Azula would turn away from her crying into her hands, Ty Lee not knowing what to do but to just sit with her. On really bad nights Azula would yell at her like she yelled at the healers and threatened to kill her and everyone she loved, only for the healers to pull Ty Lee out of the room for her own protection to take care of the monster behind that door. Ty Lee unable to withhold her tears could hear Azula’s screams and cries: “Let me go! Leave me alone! I’m not your daughter, you never loved me!”, not knowing if she was speaking to the healers or a hallucination. Either way, Ty Lee’s heart broke every time when the healers had to pull her out of Azula’s room for her own safety. She couldn’t stand seeing her Princess so hateful and torn. So lonely and hopeless.

But she got better at it. The more she had seen the more she knew how to handle the situation. While healers were always nearby, Ty Lee made sure that she could handle it herself. On other nights she was able to calm her down which was a miracle considering how much damage the Firebender had caused; destroying a chair or throwing her hairbrush against the new mirror that was installed as if to erase herself from this world. Fear would paralyze Ty Lee when she saw her Princess act out in desperation. Unable to breathe and not making a move. She would wait for Azula to give up the fight and fall to the floor so she could hold her like the fragile child she was.

* * *

Another year went by and by then Ty Lee would jump onto Azula’s bed without invitation and spread her limbs making herself comfortable. Over time they had established their trust and boundaries and became more comfortable around each other. Ty Lee usually visited right after work, so she felt drained and tired. Sometimes they would talk for hours about Azula’s meditation sessions and her non-bending training to stay fit and healthy or the bad dreams that haunt her at night and she would wipe away a tear from the Princess’ face. One rainy afternoon, Azula took a Pai Sho board from her desk and asked Ty Lee if she wanted to play.

“You know I’ve never played, Zula.” She said, her eyes wide and shocked about what she just said but also loving how her childhood pet name rolled over her tongue so beautifully after all these years. As if it was meant for her. _Zula_. She could say it over and over again and she wouldn’t get tired of it. Azula herself didn’t complain. Heat rushed up to her fingers and cheeks and as soon as she realized her face was as red as the hallway walls and her hands were twitching as if she just redirected lightning, she quickly turned to set up the game and said: “I’ll teach you.”.

And sometimes, after Ty Lee once again lost in Pai Sho because she simply doesn’t have the patience to grasp the complexity of the game she let out a groan, throwing her White Lotus Tile across the room: “This isn’t fair, you have lifelong experience.”, her arms crossed in front of her chest, pouting at her opponent for not letting her win. Azula was taken aback by the acrobat’s outburst of frustration and raised her eyebrows in response. She had to admit tho, she enjoyed the acrobat feeling so comfortable expressing her feelings. And after trying to hold back, a genuine laugh escaped Azula earning a big smile from Ty Lee.

And after that, they would just sit in silence, enjoying each other’s presence until Ty Lee would just fall asleep on Azula’s bed. The first time she was surprised to wake up sweating when she realized how close she was to the Firebender. A heat was radiating from Azula and Ty Lee would had been worried if she didn’t know that a Firebending master like Azula could easily control her body temperature. She giggled. Someone was nervous.

Azula would lay on her bed, inches away but never touching Ty Lee out of fear to hurt her. But one night, Ty Lee felt brave and slowly reached out for Azula’s hand. As if lightning ran through her veins, Azula startled, being so surprised and fearful of this gentle gesture. It sent her right back to her childhood when Ty Lee held onto her hand for the first time in response to them getting lost in the royal palace at night after playing hide and seek with Mai. They somehow ended up in a secret tunnel leading to a bunker that had been abandoned long before they were born. Azula saw Ty Lee’s big eyes looking terrified until Azula created a small flame in her hand that would guide them out, earning a kiss on the cheek from her pink friend.

Still contemplating the touch, Azula eventually she gave in. She relaxed. Her breathing became slower and her body tense free until they both fell asleep. Hand in hand, Azula would wake up on her side, the other girl’s arm hugging her waist and her face just inches away from hers. She never moved away because she had never slept so well in her entire life.

After three years of treatment, Ty Lee convinced Zuko to let her go back to the palace. Iroh agreed, having seen how much she had grown. He would sit with her over a cup of tea and she would ask him about her father and mother, eagerly wanting to understand her fate. Zuko agreed, also having been a witness of Azula’s recovery. Although Zuko never received as much kindness as Ty Lee or Iroh did, she beat him at their weekly Pai Sho match with a grin on her face which was more he had ever received from her.

* * *

Today was the day. They hadn’t told Azula, because Ty Lee wanted it to be a surprise, and now she is here. Her hands tingling and her stomach full of butterflies. She would be the one telling Azula the great news.

Zuko hesitated and shifted from one foot to another, not quite finding the courage to disappoint his friend: “Ty Lee…I’m sorry…she left.”, Zuko says reaching out for Ty Lee’s hand. An act of comfort that was in vain. She pulls away.

Disappointed but understanding, she says: “Oh that’s okay, we can catch up with her at the palace.” She smiles. After all, Azula doesn’t like crowds, it makes sense she wanted to go alone.

“No, Ty Lee.” Zuko emphasizes once more. Ty Lee just looked at him with her big grey eyes slowly watering up when she understood the Fire Lord’s words:

“She is gone.”


	2. If Tears Left Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spoiler warning if you haven't read The Shadow of Kyoshi. I'm not revealing a lot, but as a person who hates spoilers - this is your warning :)

The green grass is freshly mowed, and the sky is blue. It is afternoon in the palace garden and the sun is shining down onto three girls in Fire Nation school uniform. Accompanied by a turtle duck family they are playing and chasing each other around the pond. Her hair held together by two red bows and her bangs falling down to her young eyes, Mai groans: “Why do _I_ always have to start?” She crosses her hands in front of her chest and pouts at both of her friends. They decided to play hide and seek after Azula and Ty Lee got tired of doing cartwheels.

“It's only fair, Mai. Azula knows the palace too well and you know I get scared being alone.”, Ty Lee explains while playing with her braided hair. Although she is in her school uniform, she somehow managed to add parts of pink with it. The acrobat never shies away from expressing her feeling and she doesn’t mind being vulnerable most of the times, although in certain situations it can make her uncomfortable. Not today, tho, because if it meant getting herself out of being the first to count, she doesn’t think twice.

“C’mon Mai, you can even ask Zuko to help you.” Azula raises an eyebrow, watching to see a reaction from her pouty friend. Seeing Mai’s cheeks turning as red as the apple hanging from the tree they were standing under, Ty Lee giggles in Azula’s ear: “You got her!”. Mai groans, ready to tackle them to the ground and making them pay for always ganging up on her and being annoying little brats. Before she gets the chance to attack, however, Ty Lee grabs Azula’s hand and pulls her away, running off into the palace giggling. “I hate both of you!”, they hear Mai yell after them as they run up to the porch and reach the palace entrance. And then with another groan they hear: “1…2…3….”

Not really knowing where to go, Ty Lee now lets Azula take the lead. Standing in the enormous palace entrance door the princess looks around knowing her home all too well. Then with a sudden grin on her face she turns left and pulls the acrobat with her. Ty Lee is right on her heels and follows the Firebender without questioning. After all, Azula knew best where to hide. They run through the palace halls making servants jump out of their lane and shout after the two balls of energy. Turning around a corner Ty Lee runs directly into a servant making him lose control of the golden plate in his hands, dropping the fresh cooked food that was meant for a meeting between generals. Ty Lee on the floor, her eyes wide in shock and fear, unable to move. Azula looking back onto the scene Ty Lee just caused, she runs back and grabs her friend “c’mon”, pulling her away from the red-faced servant. Fed up with those kids, he hissed and cursed for only him to hear because after all, “It is the crown princess and her pink friend.”, he says through gritted teeth. Nothing he could do to punish them for making his life at the palace a living hell. Adrenaline shooting through their veins, they begin speeding again. Turning right, then left, then running up the stairs only to turn right again. After too many turns for them to keep track, they run into a room and close the door behind them as if their life depended on it, finally getting a chance to breathe. Both resting their hands on their knees, taking quick short breaths they look at each other and burst out laughing. Getting into trouble is not on their list today.

After taking time to let her lungs fill with air, Ty Lee finds her voice again. She bursts out: “She will never find us here! You’re brilliant, Zula!”. The princess straightens herself up, proud to receive the acrobat’s compliment, something she never grows tired of. They just started playing and she already feels very satisfied with herself.

Being so focused on running away from Mai, they didn’t get a chance to look around. When they do, Ty Lee’s eyes widen, and her mouth falls open.

“What is this place?” she asks, being utterly in awe with their newfound location. The walls run so high that Ty Lee has to look up, the back of her head touching her shoulders, trying to stretch her neck to take in the whole room.

A red dragon is painted onto the left wall of the room, its body almost curved like a giant snake making Ty Lee’s eyes wander from one end to the other. She looks at the opposite wall and sees a similar depiction of a dragon; its counterpart but this one is blue. Their tails intertwined above the door they just came in and their heads meeting across the room on the backdoor. They are spitting fire, but not just any fire. It is something Ty Lee had never seen before. Their flames aren’t just like any other flames. It is the exact opposite of what she thought fire could look like. Her eyes follow the beautifully aligned transition of yellow, red, green, purple and blue up to the back door where the colored flames are framing the backdoor of the room, making it look like whoever walks through it will be either burnt to ashes or born anew.

“It’s the palace’s gallery.”, Azula says after watching the other girl spin around not knowing what to look at first, exploring the room with tiny steps and big gasps.

Ty Lee takes a moment: “But there are no paintings.”, unable to hide the curiosity in her voice. She is right. Except for the two dragons the walls were empty, and the two girls were the only ones in here.

“They were all destroyed”, Azula begins and doesn’t waste any more time when Ty Lee spins around at her in confusion.

“Back in Kyoshi years- “, Azula starts.

“The Earth Avatar with the pretty make-up?” Ty Lee interrupts, stepping closer to Azula in excitement, being utterly proud to know exactly who the princess is talking about. She always loves listening to one of Azula’s history lessons because not only are they fun and entertaining, but Ty Lee also learns a lot from Azula, especially when it comes to war facts and a detailed history of their nation. Although the acrobat might not be overly fond of history _or_ war, she always loves the way her princess’ face lits up when she gets to share one of her anecdotes. They would sometimes lay in the green next to the palace pond, Ty Lee on her tummy and head resting on her hands and Azula performing with all her heart and body the exact events of something she just read about. After all, Azula is a pretty successful storyteller. At least Ty Lee, thinks so.

“Well, technically it was war-paint, but yes.”, she grants the other girl her small victory. “Around the same time when Avatar Kyoshi was a fully realized Avatar, my great-great-great…great-grandfather Zoryu became the new Firelord. He asked for the Avatar to join the yearly harvest festival because he didn’t do so well ruling the nation and clans were retaliating. He needed the Avatar by his side to show that he was still fit to rule. But what was supposed to be a celebration for our nation turned into a massacre.” Azula walks to one of the walls, tracing with her fingers the spots where she could still see the imprints of paintings that used to be there. The shadows and stories they left behind.

“Oh no what happened?”, Ty Lee now grabbing Azula by the arm, following her around the room and wanting her to pay attention to her and not the walls.

“Well, before all of this happened, Kyoshi worked as a servant for an Earthbender who the world believed to be the Avatar. They were friends, actually. But after Kyoshi discovered that she was the actual Avatar the boy ran away. Everyone thought he was dead slayed by his former master or even the Avatar herself, but in reality he became one of the most powerful benders of the Earth Kingdom after slaying a spirit and taking on its powers.”

Ty Lee gasps, her hands now in front of her mouth, totally absorbed in Azula’s story.

“As you can imagine he was pretty mad that everyone lied to him about being the Avatar. He wanted to make them pay for what they did to him and he started hunting everyone down who spoken a single lie to his face.” Azula takes a dramatic pause for effect. She knows she has Ty Lee’s full attention and she loves it. The Firebender has a habit of purposefully stretching out every single detail because she knows Ty Lee won’t stop spending time with her until she finishes her story. And quite frankly, she enjoys Ty Lee being so intrigued by her.

“And his hunt started right here.”, she continues. “That night of the festival he kidnapped all the guests from all the nations by bending the ground into quicksand. Kyoshi tried to stop him, but she was too weak. She couldn’t stop him because she was stupid enough to believe he was worth saving.”, Azula emphasizes, her voice echoing from the empty walls of the gallery. “Even after he killed dozens of guards in this very room and after he erased all the royal paintings by earthbending the color fragments off the walls, she was unable to end him.”

Wow, Ty Lee thought and after a short moment of playing out the scenario in her head, her shoulders drop: “Poor Kyoshi. That must had been so hard for her.” Feeling bad for the Earth Avatar.

“She was weak, if you ask me.”, Azula scoffs, “If you can’t strike down your opponent without hesitation then you’re not a real leader.” She says and jumps into fighting position to emphasize her statement. Just like in one of her stories in the garden, she throws her fists into the air, huffing and puffing, making a whole performance out of her statement.

“But…he was her friend, Zula. She must have been so sad to see him this way.”, the acrobat then responds not paying much attention to Azula’s fight against the ghosts of the past. “I don’t think it’s weakness to care for your friends.” She then says, finally looking at the princess who suddenly seems very upset.

“Trust is for fools!” Azula snaps at Ty Lee. Her golden eyes now narrow and knifing into Ty Lee’s. A poison running through the Firebender’s veins, Ty Lee backs away from her princess as her heart is sinking in her chest. The other girl’s heart is racing in her ribcage, pumping the blood down to her fists and up to her head. Ready to explode to set this whole room on fire, Azula suddenly becomes very away that her friend is still taking steps away from her. Each step making it harder for Azula to control herself. The dragons on the wall might as well spit their fire directly onto them to accommodate the heat radiating from the young Firebender’s body. She quickly gets out of fighting position and turns away. She looks down to the floor as if trying to hide how her lungs are in- and deflating at a speed she is all too familiar with but scary to everyone else. Azula is fighting with all her will and strength against the war inside her young heart as she stares at the marble floor holding onto the few things in her head she knows are real: this room, this feeling and Ty Lee.

Ty Lee watches the princess carefully but still keeps a distance. This isn’t the first time her words triggered Azula. She knows there are certain things her friend doesn’t like to hear, and some things even make her shoot fire out of her fists. Although Azula’s back is turned to Ty Lee she can see the Firebender cutting her fingernails into her palms. Having not moved for the past minute, Ty Lee can hear teeth grinding and Azula’s chest shaking. Ty Lee knows Azula well enough to pick up on her habits, but she still felt her shoulder drops and her teeth biting her bottom lip, being unsure of what to and how to help.

Suddenly, being washed over by a wave of bravery Ty Lee dares to end the obnoxious silence, and whispers: “Hey, it’s okay.” Light on her toes she takes a step closer to her struggling friend, very slowly reaching for her upper arm to make her turn around and look at her. She doesn’t like seeing her friend this way. Usually she only behaved like this after she saw her mother or father. Sometimes, after school Ty Lee would come over to play just to be escorted right back home because Azula had her duties as the crown princess. Ty Lee always asked herself what exactly it was that Azula had to do, but she never dared to voice her questions. One time she had to run back into Azula’s room because she forgot her war-history book and when she was about to leave again, she saw the Firelady yell horrible things at her young daughter, grabbing her by the arm and forcing her into what must had been one of her princess-duties. She knows Azula has strict parents, it only made sense since she was born into the royal family, but the acrobat never dared to comment on it. All she knows is that she is avoiding her friend on those duty-days out of fear for her friend. Because with every day that passes, she sees her friend becoming more and more closed off and losing the fire in her eyes.

Ty Lee is lucky today. The princess follows Ty Lee’s lead and turns around, but still refuses to look up. Ty Lee smiles at her with big grey eyes and reaches for the princess’ cheek. Azula flinches at the moment of contact but after a moment of consideration she leans in. “You can trust me, Zula. I’ll always be by your side.”, and Ty Lee can finally feel the Firebender cool off, releasing all her energies. Azula let’s go of her fists and starts breathing again, slowly but surely controlling the fire inside her chest. She tries to hold back the unsettling river behind her eyes but fails to do so as a tear starts running down her cheek. Wanting to turn away again, Ty Lee notices the rare moment of vulnerability and she catches the tear with her fingers before Azula could react. She then hears her friend whisper: “Promise?”

“Promise”, the acrobat says and gives her princess a kiss on the cheek.

* * *

“I don’t see how this is any of your business, Mai.”, Ty Lee says as she’s running around her room grabbing clothes to throw them in her bag.

“You’re my friend, that’s why.”, Mai says plain and simple.

“She is your friend, too, but you never cared about her, did you?”

“I don’t consider people who tried to kill me my friends. I have boundaries.”

Turning around laughing, making the room drop in temperature: “You don’t have boundaries, Mai, you have walls. Higher than Azula’s ever were.”

“And what’s so wrong about that? At least this way she can’t hurt me anymore. Look what she’s doing to you even after she left. This is crazy!”, she’s raising her voice now, furious at her friend: “You haven’t slept in the past month, servants can hear you cry yourself to sleep and you haven’t eaten at all!”

“It’s called heartbreak, Mai. I’m sorry you’re not emotionally available enough to know what it feels like!” Ty Lee now grabbing a picture from her wall, her family smiling back at her, and stowing it into her bag. After a short moment of silence, she is now fully facing her friend: “How is it that when Zuko chose his honor over you, you got to be angry, but when it’s me I need to somehow keep it together?”

“Zuko and I were actually dating, Ty Lee. You and Azula – you’re obsessed! It’s not healthy.”

“Oh because you and Zuko are just the healthiest couple in the Fire Nation.”, Ty Lee’s hands in her fist and heat running through her veins.

“Ty Lee, don’t you see what she’s doing? She’s turning us against each other without even being here! She has always been manipulating you, she has always been taking advantage of you!”

“And what exactly have you ever done to stop her? I’m sorry, but I didn’t see you interfering when she demanded you to sacrifice your own brother in Omashu. You never said anything, Mai! You went along with it just like me because we were _kids_. She was a child and she was your friend, Mai. But you never visited her once in the past four years.” Her blood boiling now.

“I didn’t have anything to say.”

“No, Mai, you never have anything to say to anyone. All you do is judge people because your own life bores you.”

“Why would I waste my energy on someone who literally tried to kill me?

“Because she was acting on life-long trauma! Why is this so hard to understand when you’re literally living with her brother who had the same abusers – less trauma to be exact. Why does _he_ deserve a chance, but she doesn’t?”

“Because at least he chose his path.”

“She never got to choose, Mai! She was a slave! A slave of her father’s abuse and her mother’s neglect! Zuko’s banishment was a gift! And if you would’ve put in the time then you would’ve seen how much she fought to change!”

“I don’t see how she has changed considering she is still hurting you.”

“People are complicated, Mai. Life is complicated, and not all of us can marry the Firelord and play happy family!” Ty Lee grabs her now fully packed bag and storms out the door.

“Running away won’t make her come back, you know!”, Mai finally yells after her before Ty Lee slams the door in her face.

Silence.

* * *

Ty Lee asked Zuko to transfer her to Kyoshi island. In agreement with Suki, her wishes were granted, and she would take over the recruiting and training on Kyoshi island. Mai didn’t agree with Ty Lee’s decision and she didn’t hide her disapproval very well, to say the least. She didn’t come to say goodbye and Ty Lee didn’t mind as she was unable to control the boiling blood running through her body anyway. She stood on the Earth Kingdom boat and watched her home grow smaller by the minute as she was leaving the shore of the Fire Nation off to her _new_ home. Off to a new start.

It had been over two months since Azula left without a warning. The first four weeks Ty Lee was confident she would come back. She _waited_ for her to come back. She stayed up late and she would sneak into the _Home for Those Who Have Lost Their Ways_ only to find Azula’s chamber empty. She climbed through the window and walked through the room as if walking through memories of her heart. She saw Azula sitting on the floor laughing, she saw herself braiding and secretly smelling Azula’s hair, she saw them playing Pai Sho, and when she looked at the freshly covered bed, she swore she still saw the imprint of their bodies on the mattress. She closed the door to her room and leaned her forehead against it, holding up her palm, wishfully thinking she could feel her one last time.

She cried. A lot. Sometimes late at night and sometimes during broad daylight while escorting her Firelord to his destination. Her war paint washing off without a sound, her tears leaving marks of white on the wooden floors. Not until she was alone, however, she fully gave into the pain. Her heart breaking into a million tiny pieces night after night leaving her no air to breathe. Her pillows soaked every night, as if they were drowned in saltwater. She would cry out in desperation not knowing left from right and up from down. Sobbing in her fire-red room, unable to protect her from the harsh winds she felt in her heart that made her shiver during the night.

She didn’t understand. She didn’t understand why she had gone off when she had everything here? Here, where people take care of her and make sure she is okay and not a danger to herself. Here, where _she_ can take care of her. Where she had been taken care of for all these years. Why did she have to disappear the day of her release date? Ty Lee blamed herself for not asking Zuko a week earlier, maybe she would’ve stayed. Maybe they would be living in the palace together enjoying each other’s company over dinner with Zuko and Mai. Maybe they would be walking hand in hand through the palace garden and stealing kisses behind the trees. Maybe they would be living the life that Ty Lee had always dreamed of, if she only acted sooner.

She never gave up hope. One day she was outside running errands, when suddenly someone passed her and brushed her hand. She felt lightning running from her pinky up to her heart and for a moment she was paralyzed. She looked around to see who it could’ve been. If it could’ve been… _her_. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw a figure under a hood recognizing the way they walked. The way they held their head parallel to the floor but slightly higher as if looking down even on the people taller than her. “Azula? Azula wait!”, she yelled after the figure. Dropping her freshly bought vegetables to the ground, leaving the merchant yelling after her. “Hey, lady! You needa pay for that!”, but she didn’t have time. She followed Azula and didn’t stop running. She bumped into Fire Nation people, disrupting their peaceful walk, making them jump out of her way until she grabbed the figure by the shoulder only to reveal the face of a dark-haired man. Her heart dropping in her ribcage and her shoulders dropping to the floor, she apologized and quickly went back to the merchant, picking up the mess she made and paying her debts. She felt stupid, but she refused to let go.

Ty Lee was forced to face reality, however, when Zuko found her crying in the garden where they once played as kids. She came out to this spot almost every night. The moon spirit watching over her as the familiar scent of grass guided her to sit under the familiar tree at the pond, giving her comfort in the dark. Arms hugging her knees and her chin resting on her hands; the same position Azula spent in her first year of recovery. Zuko sat down and put an arm around her, unintentionally making her flinch. She looked so fragile, he thought to himself. More fragile than usual. Although Ty Lee was a fierce warrior, there has always been something so gentle and airy to her character. Something that separated her from the rest of the Fire people and made him question his own values. She was kind to everyone; she was giving, and she was generous in everything she did. And she cared for everyone, especially Azula.

In her hand, he saw a letter. _The_ letter, he figured, since healer Zen told him Azula left one for him and one for Ty Lee. Zuko was curious to see what his sister wrote, what words she chose to explain her sudden disappearance after he thought she would finally come home. Did Ty Lee get a better explanation? Did she at least receive more than three sentences and a half-hearted goodbye? He hoped so. He felt the sudden urge to reach for it and see if he guessed right, but he didn’t. After all this was Ty Lee’s, not his.

“She will be back. She just needs time.”, Zuko then said after moments of listening to the acrobat cry out in silence. The acrobat, finding herself in Zuko’s embrace, wiped her tears on his royal fabric, pulled away and got onto her feet. Her face swollen from the fallen tears, her eyebrows in a tense frown and her hands crushing the letter she was holding. She hesitated and look at it and for a moment it seemed like she wanted to read it out loud so she could prove to him that he was wrong; that she spent all these years caring for Azula only to be left behind. She wanted to scream at him, her heart racing in her ribcage. But she was unable to speak, and she couldn’t find words to describe her pain and she didn’t think he would understand either way. She ran back inside and left Zuko outside pondering over his own misery. She cried in her room. Again, and again. Until there were no more tears left to cry. If she could bend fire, Zuko thought, her flames could be seen from wherever Azula was and if tears left scars, Ty Lee would never be recognized again.

The next day, she asked Zuko for a transfer. And a week later she was packing her bags heading towards Kyoshi Island. She arrived a few days later and walked straight up the hill to make her way to Kyoshi statue. It was before sunrise, so no one was awake yet except for the birds in the trees. She took in the fresh air and looked at the Earth Avatar she had always admired, wishing she would somehow appear in front of her and give her advice. But she didn’t. Obviously. So, she went on her mission and made her way to her destination.

Suki gave her keys to a tiny house that used to be the old Kyoshi-Warrior-Headquarters but has been vacant since Suki moved the Kyoshi Warriors to the Fire Nation capital. The house was outside town standing in the middle of a green field, close to the cliff. It was quiet there except for the waves she could hear crashing against the shore late at night and the birds singing their good morning melodies. It was away from people, yet close enough for Ty Lee to go into town without an inconvenience. It was different, but it was nice.

When she opened up the house for the first time she almost drowned in an ocean of green. The walls, the bed, the pillows and even the tapestries were the color of grass. There were hints of yellow, but as if the Earth Kingdom only had access to that one color, everything was mainly green. It was a one-story house with a generous dining and living area connected to the nearby open kitchen. A bathroom, a small spare room and a bedroom with a closet. It was the perfect size for a girl like Ty Lee, although she would have to get used to living alone. She was confident, however, that this is what she needed. The first week after she moved, she focused on renovating the place. She replaced the green paint with a mix of pastel pink, white and blue transforming the house into a lighter and more welcoming space. She bought new kitchen utensils and replaced the old kitchen table. She placed her pictures on the wall. One of her family, a few of her and the Kyoshi girls at one of their training camps and one of her and Mai after they both moved into the palace. Reminiscing about those easier times, she felt her throat drying out as she started to think about her last encounter with her friend. She didn’t like conflict and it made her stomach turn, but she had to set her boundary.

Ty Lee went to the Kyoshi market every Saturday and the week after her arrival she strutted through the streets not knowing where to look first: still mostly green, but a touch of yellow, orange and red, the market tents were small but full of beautiful shiny things: woodwork, sculptures, paintings, vegetables, fruits; everything that made Ty Lee’s heart burst. People were passing through, knowing the market like the back of their hand, greeting their neighbors and greeting Ty Lee. She was surprised by the welcoming atmosphere on Kyoshi Island. She knew they stayed out of the 100-year war, but she would’ve never guessed to be accepted this quickly as a Fire Nation native. She took it all in: the children bumping into her and chasing through the crowds, the group of people playing their instruments and others joining to dance and sing, the fresh scent of pastries and the smiles on everyone’s faces. Talking, laughing, clapping, singing, dancing: all the things Ty Lee loved to do in one place.

As she made her way through the market street, she found an old big tapestry hanging at the back of one of the tents with an old man leaning onto his cane behind his desk separating him from customers. It was a generous map of all the nations together as one. Although the colors already faded, she could still see the red, green, orange and blue. On the sides, from top to bottom, the nation’s symbols were printed with a short insight on their values.

_**Earth** the element of substance, diversity, persistence and strength. _

_**Fire** the element of power, desire, will, energy and drive. _

_**Air** the element of freedom, peace and pleasure. _

_**Water** the element of change, adaptation and community. _

She put the tapestry right on her living area wall and continued decorating her new home by placing her bows and bracelets onto her bedroom desk, picked a few wildflowers from outside and put them in a vase on her kitchen table, but she didn’t stop there. Loving the way, the flowers lit up her house, she started picking them almost daily until she felt satisfied with how the colors of the flowers added onto her new walls and decorations. They were hanging from the walls, standing in corners, on her windowsill, outside on her porch and in her bedroom communicating a sense of unity within the chaos, setting the tone for her new home. Anyone stepping into Ty Lee’s new home would be welcomed by the fresh scent of nature.

This house definitely didn’t look like the Kyoshi-headquarters anymore. Now it just looked like Ty Lee.

* * *

Feeling her muscles ache and her eyelids heavy from the past weeks of training the new girls in basic Kyoshi fighting and beginner’s chi-blocking, she sits outside in her rocking chair. She bought the chair along with a new kitchen table and she didn’t know she wanted one until she saw it. A blanket wrapped around her and a cup of tea in her hands, she can hear the nearby waves crashing against the shore. The air smells like lemon grass and the sky is as clear as her newly cleaned windows, the moonlight shining through them. There is no place Ty Lee felt more alive than here.

Living on Kyoshi Island has been comfortable for her. She has everything she needs to train the girls and everything she needs to feed herself. Every week she writes a letter to Suki, updating her about the progress of the new recruits and the new teaching methods Ty Lee has come up with. She is enjoying her work. There is nothing more rewarding than seeing the girls pick up her exercises and teaching them how to do their warrior-paint correctly. She loves it here, and she is very grateful she was given this chance. She needed to get away from the palace. She needed to get away from the red walls and the stories they tell and the memories they hold in place. She needs to write her own story, and that’s why she’s here. To do what she wants to do and not what somebody else ordered her to.

She has been feeling better by the day; waking up before sunrise, listening to the birds and putting on her war-paint. Every stroke of her brush as if she were dancing to a song only meant for her ears.

Every other night, however, she felt a pulling in her stomach. A longing that was making her limbs shake and her eyes teary; her heart dropping in her ribcage and her chin trembling.

She hasn’t looked at it since the night Zuko found her in the palace garden, and she has been confident to never read it again. Although she knows every word and every comma, holding it in her hands felt different. As if she was holding a piece of _her_. But she couldn’t do that anymore. She forbids herself to dwell in the past and spends a lot of her time forcing herself to focus on the present. And in the present; in her reality she was on her own. Azula was gone and she might never come back. Something she has to accept in order to live on.

She should just burn it, she thinks, maybe it will eliminate the desire she still feels for the lost princess. Maybe she should set it on fire just like Azula set her on fire. She should just watch it burn to ashes, just like she did when Azula left. Left behind to be forgotten and replaced. Dissolving into thin air just like she wanted it to be. So she never had to look back and never had to be reminded of the pain she caused her. Maybe Mai was right.

In a sudden motion, when the heat of her thoughts had reached her limbs like electricity, she jumps out of her chair and runs into her bedroom. She opens up the drawer in her desk with force, making the new vase with flowers and pictures of her family and friends shake as if an earthquake hit. She takes out the letter. Grabbing matches on her way out to the porch, she lights one of them and holds them in front of her face as she stands outside in the starry night. She watches how the small flame dances on the tiny wooden stick. Ty Lee watches the flame wander down the wood, led by a force only a true Firebender would understand. Fire is energy, Azula used to tell her: “If you feed it with too much of your passion you will lose control and give in to destruction, but no passion at all will be its ultimate death.” _Balance_ ; is what Azula always told her. If you can’t balance your inner flame, the flames you shoot out will never find its way.

She may not be a Firebender but she sure knows how to balance herself. She could do it. She had to do it. There was no other way. She raises her other hand with the letter up to the match and watches it catch fire. For a second she watches the performance of white dissolving into bright red and orange, leaving nothing behind but ashes. Dropping to the floor like a feather, being blown away by soft wind.

A fresh breeze makes her shiver and that’s when she snaps back to reality staring. The letter caught fire and when her stomach turned and her jaw clenches, a wave of regret hit her. She drops the white paper and steps on it to make it stop transforming into ashes. Having waited just a moment too long the fire already left its scars.

The fire was out, but Ty Lee’s patience has completely left her. She picks up the now disformed letter and blows on it. She groans and damns herself for being so careless. What was she thinking? Even if she burnt the whole house on fire, she could remember the words of Azula’s last message. What made her think _this_ is how she could forget the Firebender she had craved since childhood? By using _fire_? Tears now running down her cheeks she felt stupid. Trying to make them go back inside and silence herself, she presses her hand against her mouth and she throws herself back onto her chair making it rock back and forth with speed. Looking up to the bright moon, she crushes the letter inside her hands and throws it over the porch railing; away from her. The moonlight reflecting onto Azula’s last words…

_My dearest Ty Lee,_

_I’m sorry I couldn’t face you. If I had, I would’ve never been able to leave. I would’ve never been able to turn my back on your hopeful eyes and soft smile that have been guiding me ever since I can remember. You are probably angry, and I don’t blame you. But please trust me when I say I’m not doing this to hurt you_.

_I don’t know how long I will be gone, and I don’t know where I’m headed, but there will be no day that passes by that I don’t think of you. I know it isn’t fair of me to ask you to wait for me; to forgive me. The damage I have caused you is too much for me to repair. I am regretful to have treated you like a servant when I should’ve treated you like my eternal sunshine. I know I can’t erase my mistakes and I can’t heal the bleeding wounds in your heart. So, I have left. Off to wherever my heart guides me; wherever I can fuel my inner flame to light up the darkest corners of my soul._

_I am endlessly grateful for you and the patience you have shown me. The past four years you have lived for me. Now you shall live for yourself. I’m setting you free._

_I know time will pass and things will change, but just like the sun, my love for you will rise anew._

_May our paths cross again._

_Yours always,_

_Azula_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who took the time to comment & leave kudos on the first chapter and I'm happy you found your way back :)  
> In case anyone is wondering, the part where Azula tells the story of Kyoshi is based on the new book The Shadow of Kyoshi. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll be back with chapter 3 :)


	3. The Only Witness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: depiction of self-harm

Azula didn’t take a lot with her when she left the _House for The Ones Who Have Lost Their Way_. She knew she had to rely on the essentials: clothes, food and water. She had no space for more and she had to ration her energy. Carrying more than she needed would hinder her to accomplish her goal of 15 miles a day. She needed to be smart about her every move and calculate her every breath if she wanted to survive. She knew this wouldn’t be easy, but it was a challenge, exactly what Azula wanted.

Right after she left the capital, an old fisherman agreed to take her to Omashu as long as she helped on the boat. At first, she was hesitant. Azula never in her life had to work a common people job. The mere thought of it made her shiver, but she also realized her situation was none to make demands. She needed to be flexible. She had to choose her battles, and this wasn’t one of them. So, she stepped on the boat with two other fishermen from the Earth Kingdom and slept in a booth so narrow she couldn’t move a muscle. Azula had been on boats before so she was confident this would be no adventure for her, yet she didn’t calculate that her ship from the Fire Nation was very different from the Earth Kingdom’s shrieking piece of wood. The noble ships of the Fire Nation were accustomed to reducing any swinging and shaking on the water to make their stay more pleasant. Something Azula realized she might have taken for granted as she emptied her stomach over the railing more than she liked to admit. Even the Fire Nation princess wasn’t immune to sea sickness. A small miscalculation that caused lack of sleep and lack of appetite.

“It was nice havin’ ya! Maybe we’ll see ya around, ay!” The old fisherman yells after her as they arrived in Omashu. Azula didn’t wait until the boat docked. She grabbed her bag and jumped off it, leaving the two men behind. Azula wasn’t very keen of saying her goodbyes, after all she had no duty to explain herself to anyone. Four years ago, she would’ve even considered burning the fisherman’s ship to the ground simply by speaking to her in a tone not suited for the royal princess. But that wasn’t the Azula she was anymore. The new Azula – the _recovered_ Azula was hit by a wave of gratitude that day, so she did the least she could do and bowed to the man who had shown her kindness.

“Ah look at ya. Ya don’t have to bow to me. I ain’t no royal!” The old fisherman laughs and turns his back to the Fire Nation princess in disguise. Shaking his head at the girl who he thought to be very timid and strange from the start.

She walked and walked as far as her legs could carry her. Her thighs burning with every step she took, her bare feet rubbing against the leather of her boots cutting into her skin like a thousand knifes. She didn’t exactly know where she was going, she just knew she was on her way. On her way to find whatever she had lost. Something she couldn’t grab or take from anyone. It wasn’t an object she could steal from the next house she passed or a substance she could suck out of a plant.

No, this time Azula was on her own; by choice.

Her photographic memory blesses her with the ability to recall her location whenever she needs it. The map of the four nations cemented in her brain, the only travel companion she had. She assumes she is very close to the Si Wong desert as the sun seems to have sucked the green out of the trees, the roads wider than just a few miles earlier and the ground drier with every step she took. The dust flowing through the landscape like tiny tornados causing her mouth to dry and her nose to tingle. She has heard stories about the ocean of sand. A library hidden midst the desert, creatures living beneath the surface just waiting to take the life of a lost soul, and sandbenders as powerful as the environment they live in. It is said that no one of a common fate would ever return.

There was no point continuing her journey today. Azula knows her limits. She needs her full strength to cross the Si Wong desert tomorrow, so she sits down under a nearby tree, takes off her boots and lets the shade cool her blisters and open wounds. She abandoned her royal fire nation gowns before she left the capital and changed into a common fire nation disguise. When the 100-year war ended the Fire Nation still wasn’t the most celebrated of all four nations, which was to be expected, but due to Firelord Zuko’s and Avatar Aang’s decision to leave the colonies as they were, Azula didn’t have to disguise herself from being Fire Nation anymore. At least one good decision her brother made.

When she finally gets comfortable, leaning against the dried-out tree she reaches into one of her small chest pockets right at her heart and pulls out a small round object. Ever so slightly, she brushes over it with her thumb, a habit she had picked up along the way. Her eyes following the symbol of the White Lotus as it circulates between her fingers, hypnotizing her and pulling her out of the present where her feet hurt and her mouth was dry back into the past where she had all she could have ever asked for…

* * *

Calm and calculating in their movements, Azula and Iroh are pondering over a Pai Sho board. They are sitting at a marble table in the gracious garden of the _Home for The Ones Who Have Lost Their Ways_. The midday sun radiating down to the two firebenders, making it almost impossible for the two masters to control their body temperature. The surrounded flowers being visited frequently by friendly bees humming along the way. The familiar colors of pink, blue and yellow and the scent of the garden leaving a sense of comfort and security. This is their meeting spot. Their safe space, as Iroh likes to call it. When they don’t play Pai Sho they enjoy a fresh cup of tea together. Some days they would talk about Azula’s well-being and about Iroh’s new teashop. On other days, when Azula didn’t feel like sharing her most inner thoughts, Iroh would take the lead and tell her tails of dragons and spirits who he believes never have left the world but are simply hiding. Hiding from humans who have destroyed their natural habitat out of greed for power. Weirdly, Azula resonated with that. She almost _identified_ with that. Most of the times she saw herself as the dark spirit roaming this world, spreading hatred and suffering wherever she went. Sucking the life out of the breathing and leaving nothing behind but darkness.

When the sun set, and the earth turned dark she surrendered. The creatures possessing her body and mind making her see and do things she has no control over. The healers would find her in the morning, crimson red under her fingernails; spots of blue and green on her hips, rips and jaw. They didn’t understand how one human could possibly cause so much damage to themselves without an external threat. When the bruises and wounds didn’t heal, they were forced to alarm the Fire Lord. The healers were certain the princess has been harming herself. They increased her meditation treatment as well as physical treatment. They wanted to stay away from a restraint jacket or any kind of damaging treatment. They assumed; non-bending training will leave the princess too exhausted to cause damage to herself, but what they didn’t know…Azula didn’t sleep.

They visit when no one can see. The saltwater burning her cheeks, blood attracting the creatures in black capes. Hollow eyes reflecting the emptiness of her soul when the time has come again. Quiet, invisible to the eyes, they reach out to caress her face; the only affection she thinks she deserves. The only touch anyone thinks she deserves. She grabs their hands and puts them around her throat. She would scream into the night: “Do it! Strangle me!” Her being made her sick and all she wanted was for them to take whatever was left. The once Fire Nation prodigy now longed for sweetness of death. Because then at least the suffering would end.

When Iroh visits he never forces her to speak, and she appreciates the gesture. He patiently waits for Azula to make the first move although on some days it would never happen. So, he would leave, bowing before his niece in respect and go on with his day. On other days, however, he encouraged her to talk to him, be it about the flowers or the bees. The simple exchange between two souls is very fruitful for our wellbeing, he would say.

“I’ve heard you have trouble sleeping.” Iroh says without looking up from the Pai Sho board.

“And I thought the Healers took a pledge of secrecy.” The princess moves one of her Pai Sho tiles to a new grid.

“Don’t blame the healers. Your friend confided in me.”

Iroh can feel Azula’s freeze, so he looks up. His eyes gentle and caring. He knows besides him and Zuko only one other person visits Azula, but he didn’t dare to say her name. He has to be careful about his choice of words. When Azula looks the other way out to the flower field, he knows this is his chance.

“You know, it is okay to accept help from the people we love.”

Azula shoots him a look of mistrust. Her eyes daring him to say another word out of line.

“I apologize, I don’t mean to pry.” He retreats.

“Well you are, Uncle.”

He nods and shifts his focus back onto the game. He knows when to stay quiet and wait. Azula knows that he knows. It’s quite annoying, to be honest. She doesn’t appreciate the power he has to read her. Usually, she is the one reading others. Usually, she is in charge.

“I’m not good for her.” She whispers. Surprised by her own words, she looks down at the white lotus tile in her fingers, moving it around channeling her energy. Trembling.

“Why is that?” Iroh wonders.

She scoffs. “I didn’t realize it isn’t obvious. I’m a monster. My own mother thought so.”

“What do _you_ think?”

Not expecting the redirection of question, she almost gets angry at the man across her. But then, she takes a moment. It’s been a while since someone asked for her insight. Since the last Agni Kai she became the girl who needed protection from herself. She couldn’t trust her thoughts. So, nobody dared to ask.

“I don’t know.” She looks away. She sees her face clearly. Her mother’s eyes filled with fear and disgust. Pushing Azula away from her, because no daughter of hers would act like she did.

“What if she was right. If my own mother couldn’t love me, then…” Tears now building in her eye socket.

“Then why would anybody else.” He finishes her thought. For a moment he just watches her struggle. He can feel her heart manically screaming for help, and Iroh feels a knot in his throat. If only he could fix this.

“You’re not a monster, Azula.”

She inhales sharply, sucking in the air she so desperately needed. She didn’t think she needed it, but her uncle’s validation triggered her senses. She lets go of the tension in her neck and finally releasing the tears she’s been desperately trying to hold in place. They’re flowing down her cheeks like the nearby river. Releasing the bottled-up anger and desperation in her heart. Still demanding herself to stay strong, however, she keeps staring away from her uncle, not moving a muscle.

“My brother failed you. And I am so deeply sorry I didn’t pull you and Zuko out of that palace when I had the chance.”

“This is hardly your fault, uncle. Nothing you could’ve done.” The princess swallows, fighting to keep a steady voice.

“I could have prevented a lot of harm done to you if I stepped up earlier than Zuko’s banishment.” Iroh watches his niece biting her lip and blinking unnaturally fast, her jaw muscle popping ever so often.

“My brother is an evil man, he always has been, and he will never change.”

“Isn’t that the exact opposite of what you’ve taught me? That everyone deserves a second chance. How am _I_ better than him?”

“Because you are choosing a new way.”

“How are you so certain? I could kill you right at this spot if I wanted to just out of spite. I _have_ tried to kill you, uncle.”

He takes a second to give Azula a chance to breathe. He watches her to consider his words. He knew her deepest struggle was with herself, and there was nothing he could do to fix it for her. All he could do was sit here with her, sharing the wisdom he learned from all the horrible mistakes he made. He didn’t say a word for so long, Azula thought the conversation has ended so she turns her focus back onto the Pai Sho board, moving one of her tiles.

“Do you still want to take my life?” Iroh fills the silence.

“Of course not, uncle.” Confused by his question.

“Then this is your answer.”

“I’m not sure I understand.” Why can’t he just get to the point. Frustration and impatience in her voice. Towards him and towards herself, as well as the tears that don’t seem to stop streaming down her cheeks although she demanded herself to stop.

“Take this flower.” He points at purple petals right next to their marble table. “This is a larkspur. It’s a wildflower and like every other flower it is depending on the sun. It has quite beautifully bloomed, hasn’t it? It has bloomed because it gets enough water to not dry out and enough sunlight to not freeze. If we took this flower by its roots and planted it in a cave with no light and only a limited source of water, it would die.” He pauses, watching Azula as her mind is wrapping her head around his words.

“For the majority of your life you lived in a cave. It was no accident, either. My brother didn’t raise a daughter. He raised a weapon. He chose this _for_ you when you had no sense of self. Ursa, may she rest in peace, dedicated her life to protect Zuko from this fate, but when she had you, she wasn’t strong enough to protect you as well, and she despised herself for it.” Iroh knows mentioning her mother was risky. Yet, he didn’t do it to hurt her, he just wanted her to understand. That although Ursa’s love was far from perfect, it was there. And although she might never believe it, Iroh had to try.

“Ozai saw her weakness and he took this chance to manipulate you as soon as you opened your eyes for the first time. Taking every opportunity to form you into who he wanted you to be. My brother knew what he was doing, and he did it selfishly driven by greed and lust for power.” He takes a sip of his tea, his words still hovering in their shared space. Watching her carefully to not overstep. He had to be careful, after all he only meant to help her, never to hurt her.

“If only your environment as a child would have been a shiny field of flowers instead of a dark cave, do you think you still would have considered taking my life – or anyone’s life?”

Azula takes a moment to take in her uncle’s wisdom. She doesn’t feel the need to answer his question, for he already knows, and she does too. Accepting that she, the master of manipulation, was a victim of the same sort is a concept only hard for her to accept. She knows how it feels like to control people. The bittersweet sensation of ultimate power. She has been there, and she was exceptional at it, just like her father. She thinks back to the many times she manipulated and tortured people closest to her. The only people who she respected. In these moments it felt right. It even felt necessary. There was so much at stake she couldn’t risk being blinded by feelings. She knew what she was doing, and she did what she had to. And most of the times she didn’t waste a thought on whether or not she hurt the other person. She frankly didn’t care about anyone but herself. She only saw her goal. Her ambition and vision. There was no one who could make her regret any of her choices. And when someone did, she worked even harder to shut that person out. Slapped them with her words, cut them with her silence and twisted their minds into a state Azula could work with.

“How come it was so easy for you to forgive me?”

“Because I love you, Azula. I see you and your brother as my own.”

“Aren’t you terrified of me?”

“I was never scared of you. I was scared _for_ you.” He looks at her, his eyes wandering from her eyes to her eyebrows; testing the waters. “And so is Ty Lee.”

By the mentioning of that name, Azula’s tears reemerge. It isn’t the first time she shed tears for the acrobat. When the sun went down and the moon stood high, she tried to push her away. Iroh watches her as she gasps for air, attempting to voice the pain she had felt for so long. Trying to whisper the words those boneless demons inside of her demand her to obey. But she couldn’t. Instead, tears were running down her cheeks, silently raising flowers from this broken earth.

“I tortured her, I manipulated her, I ripped her out of her happy life because I-” not being able to finish her sentence. She knew Ty Lee sat in front of her door at night. She could hear her light feet on the wooden floors, her soft touch against the door and her sobs stinging her heart like a thousand needles. She would stay with her through the bad nights, and Azula would lean against the door wanting to burn it down to close the distance between them, but she couldn’t. Not after what she had done.

“How will she ever forgive me, uncle?”

“I think, she already has…”

“How? I- I don’t understand.” Azula finally breaks into tears, her sobs leaving scars in Iroh’s heart. Azula never knew love and she was terrified of what it did to her.

“She loves you, Azula.” A tear now forming in his eye socket. Azula reminding him of Zuko’s struggle to accept the love he deserved even after all he had done: “Yes, you have made choices that caused pain and suffering to the one you loved, and time alone will not heal these wounds. But just like Zuko, you need to look inwards and ask yourself the question of what you truly want in life, and then make choices according to that wish. Love and forgiveness start with us. Only when we take ownership for our wrongdoings, we open up the door to redemption. And open up our heart for love.”

* * *

Azula throws the White Lotus tile away from her body and lets her tears fall onto the dry earth, leaving marks of the ones she believes to have lost. Her ears ringing and her chest tightening as she lets the memories run through her mind like lava. Occupying every corner of her soul, punishing her for the pain she caused. Azula knows her fate and the challenge she took on by leaving the _Home of The Ones Who Have Lost Their Way_. Azula didn’t make this decision without consideration of her circumstances. She was well aware of what she left behind, and she still is. The White Lotus tile staring back at her in the dirt now calling out the name of the one she left behind…

* * *

They did a tremendous job. Pieces of marble covered the wooden floors, tapestries cut in half and chandeliers swinging with the last screw holding them in mid-air. Chan’s house was completely destroyed. It was always enjoyable to show these kids who they were dealing with. After all, they were the royal siblings and their two companions. It was almost disrespectful to not leave an impression on these common people. Endorphins running wild when the four friends were laughing about their adventure on their way back to Lo and Li’s house. Ty Lee holding tight onto Azula’s arm and Mai holding onto Zuko, just like they always do.

Azula had fun today, she must admit. It felt good doing something different than chasing the Avatar. Today, she got to be a normal Fire Nation teenager and it felt unbelievably relaxing. No orders to give, no commands to follow. Yet, after the four fire nation teenagers fell onto their beds exhausted from the day, Azula felt anything but relaxed. 

She lays in bed late at night, tossing and turning, her companions already fast asleep. She hasn’t been here for quite some time. Her memories are so vague, she questions if they are even real. The good ones she had on the beach when she was still a kid playing fetch with Lu Ten, having a sandcastle competition with Zuko leaving him astounded by her attention to detail and perfectionism and being tugged in by her mother after a long day in the sun. The royal house on Ember Island was in fact the only place she ever made happy memories. She swears she even remembers her father laugh at something she said. A deep but full laugh roaring through the midday causing the waves to crash and the birds to fly off. She thinks back to the time when even her mother still took her into her arms and kissed her forehead goodnight. But whenever the royal family would return to the palace, everything changed back to normal. As if they were part of a play and they had reached the ending of the final act.

With a sudden but quiet movement, Azula gets up from her small bed and grabs her clothes. When she walks up the wooden stairs to the royal beach house, the door is still open from when Zuko had one of his dramatic outbreaks. It is dark, so Azula lights up the entrance hall with a quick firebending move, enlightening the place to its full performance. The blue flames reflecting from the fire red walls, illuminating the hall in purple.

She steps inside and the wood shrieks by her weight; she doesn’t need to rush. She walks over to the central wall which was once decorated with a painting of the royal family. She doesn’t need to look at the original to remember. The royal family radiating such calm energy. A soft dynamic between a gentle push and a controlled pull. Just like the tides, guided by nothing other than the moon spirit. Someone from the outside would have thought nothing by it. Yet, the memories of the past haunt not only this house. Azula didn’t mind that Zuko burned the painting. It was actually one of the few things she didn’t argue with him about. After all, the siblings knew their family was not what it used to be. So why waste time and energy on something that maybe wasn’t even there in the first place.

This place is depressing. She shouldn’t have come here. There was nothing she expected coming here. Or maybe _nothing_ was exactly what she expected. This is ridiculous, she groans and slams her first onto the shelf echoing through the empty hall. _Now I’m behaving like my pathetic brother_. Clenching her hands into fists she looks up to the empty spot on the wall. The dust still touching the edges of a family that never were; the ingrained face of a mother who could never love her child…

“Hey.”

Azula jumps. Ripped out of her thought her heart pumps in her chest as she takes a second to collect her thoughts. She doesn’t need to turn around to know who accompanied her.

“You followed me.”

“Maybe.”

“I guess I should’ve been quieter.” Azula turns around to face Ty Lee who has been watching her from a safe distance.

“I couldn’t sleep either.” Ty Lee admits and takes a few steps towards the princess, her hands tugged behind her back and a soft smile on her face. Her grey eyes wandering over the empty wall behind the princess, studying it closely, as if is discovering something new.

Azula’s hands start to sweat the closer Ty Lee came; something she doesn’t experience very often. “You know it is quite rude to disturb the crown princess in her royal home.”

Usually, when Azula wasn’t just pondering over her past, she could hear Ty Lee approach. She has spent years expanding her senses to be always one step ahead of her opponent and if she has learned one thing from Ty Lee it is to be flexible in her every move. She doesn’t have better ears than others, she simply spent enough time with Ty Lee to pick up on her habits and movements. It filled her with satisfaction, too. It made her superior to Zuko and Mai, which is something she always enjoys.

“I thought you might want some company.” Ty Lee smiles at her. Azula feels her heart beat a little too fast when she imagines Ty Lee watching her leave Li and Lo’s house only to join her to. Her neck stiff, she pushes this image down immediately. She can’t get consumed by these kinds of distractions.

“Very well then.” Azula swallows her pride. “You can stay. But don’t make too much noise. Nobody needs to know we’re here.” She doesn’t have to tell Ty Lee twice, knowing all too well the acrobat is the quietest of them all. But she caught her off guard, so she needs to set her domination.

“Yes, Princess.” Ty Lee winks at the firebender and makes her way through the beach house halls. Mocking the princess’ tendency to be overly serious in non-threatening situations.

For a moment Azula forgot why she even came here. She can’t help but watch Ty Lee with one eye while she turns back to the shelf forcing herself to focus on whatever it was that she was doing. She wipes her palms on the sides of her clothes as they become slimier with every step Ty Lee takes in close proximity to her. She clenches them into fists, demanding them to follow her orders to stay put. She desperately tries to ignore the soft humming that runs into her ears and through all of her limbs causing the invisible hair on her arms to raise. Like a bird, Ty Lee sings a song of hope in the haunted halls of the royal beach house radiating warmer light than Azula’s fire ever could. The princess watches as her body hovers over the floor, her feet kissing the wood without leaving behind a single sound and her hair flowing in the air like a feather in the wind. Her muscles popping and stretching as she swings across the room leaving behind a princess who might faint if she keeps holding her breath.

“Are you alright?” Azula blinks for the first time in what must have been minutes. She completely zoned out again and didn’t notice Ty Lee moving closer to her.

“You look pale.” Ty Lee reaches up to Azula’s cheek with the back of her hand. The princess stiffens, avoiding meeting the acrobat’s eyes. “You look like you’re somewhere else.”

Azula pulls down Ty Lee’s hand to escape the feeling of a thousand tiny flames in her heart. Giving Ty Lee an unconvincing smile Azula collects herself: “I drifted off in thought.”

“Do you want to share what’s on your mind?” Ty Lee accepting the newly set boundary between them.

Azula looks into her grey eyes, the purple light in the hall mirroring back to her. There are many people who ask her this question almost on a daily basis. When she is on a mission and one of the generals tries to get on Azula’s good side. It makes her eyes roll all the way back into her skull because they well know she will not discuss any of her plans with them. She knows they are acting out of fear of what she might do to them. In fact, most people she knows act out of fear around her. On another note, they _should_ be scared because she probably would hurt them, but she still thinks it’s pathetic. Either way, Azula isn’t allowed to be unsatisfied with her life especially not as the royal princess and forbid she ever expressed any unsatisfaction in the palace. Here, however, things are different. Ty Lee never asks out of fear. Ty Lee genuinely wants to know. She could sit next to the princess and watch her explore her deepest thoughts without getting tired or even terrified. Ty Lee would listen to understand and never to gain anything from it. Then again, Azula thinks, she would probably be better off if she didn’t ask.

“Will you walk with me?” Ty Lee nods and Azula leads her outside to the yard. Marble tiles expanding through what once used to be grass. It is quite a large yard for a vacation house yet small compared to the royal palace in the capital. The sun has completely vanished from the night sky and the moon is shining onto the marble well in the center. As they are walking side by side, Ty Lee slides her hand into Azula’s.

“What are you doing?” The princess whispers.

“Holding your hand, silly.”

“I can tell.” avoiding Ty Lee’s gaze.

“Do you not want me to?” Her stomach-turning and her eyes wide Ty Lee realizes she might have overstepped. She slowly pulls away to respect the princess’ wishes but when she feels Azula’s grip tightening around her hand she lets out the breath she has been holding.

“I’m sorry. This place is just…depressing.” Azula’s voice lower than usual.

“Hm…what do you miss the most?”

“What do you mean?” Azula’s eyebrows in a frown.

“About this place. About the time you spent here.”

Azula scoffs. “Please, I will not waste my time wallowing in the past. I’m not Zuko. I don’t throw tantrums to get everyone’s attention.”

Ty Lee giggles. It’s true. Zuko does have a tendency to be dramatic. Yet, Ty Lee knows Azula’s annoyance towards her brother also comes from a spark of envy.

Azula didn’t do well with experiencing emotions let alone expressing them. Most people who have ever encountered her are even convinced she didn’t feel anything. Which is far from the truth, but Azula would be lying if she said she didn’t embrace the advantage this gives her. Some call it psychotic, others unspiritual. But in reality Azula is a master strategist. Not only in battle but in all her interactions in life. She knows she can form people into the version she needs them to be the most. Just like a piece of clay following the movement and pressure of her slim fingers. It is almost too easy. No one has ever lived up to her talent and ambitions in anything, so it can get tiring to be around people who are less than her. In fact, the reason why Azula is so bad at socializing is because she already knows when someone isn’t of interest to her right from the start. Also, Azula reads people before they get the chance to read her which might be a better explanation.

“You know it’s still okay to ask for attention. We all need it.” Ty Lee shrugs.

“Well I don’t.” Azula raises her head up high, her eyes stern and her chest filled with air.

“I think you might be wrong about that.”

Azula turns to the acrobat, raising an eyebrow. “Are you suggesting your crown princess is mistaken?”

“Looks like I am.” Ty Lee fakes a shock by gasping and holding her hand in front of her mouth. “Please your Highness forgive my _boorish_ behavior.” And Azula can’t help but laugh at the acrobat’s silliness. While Azula would banish anyone else for the mockery, she feels lighter on her feet whenever Ty Lee disregards Azula’s royalty.

When they have reached the end of the open space and don’t see anywhere else to walk to, Azula leads Ty Lee to a spot on the wooden stairs in the yard. A wave of regret hits her when Ty Lee lets go of her hand to lean on them in order to get a better view of the sky. Azula feels her heart sink in her ribcage. She should’ve insisted on walking more. She could’ve led her down to the beach or take another round in the yard – anywhere that requires moving her legs and holding onto Ty Lee’s hand. Maybe she should grab it again or maybe she should put it on her thigh. No. Azula feels her heart racing, shocked by the thought and closes her eyes for just a moment, shaking off the goosebumps that creeped through her skin. When her heart falls back into normal rhythm, she lets the silence of the night take over. They listen to the waves crashing in the distance and to the grass moving along with the fresh breeze. For quite a bit they say nothing, but only look at the stars; finding comfort in each other’s presence.

“I like it when you laugh. I wish you would do it more often.” Ty Lee blushes all over by her impulse to share. Recognizing the change in status, Azula uses it to distract the other girl from her own fire burning her cheeks.

“Is that so?” Azula narrows her eyes. Her heart pounding in her chest making it almost impossible to breathe.

“Mhm.” Ty Lee nods at her, smiling.

“Well, the only other people I have around are Mai and my brother and I wouldn’t call either of them humorous.” Azula uses the chance to maybe earn a laughter from the acrobat. “So frankly this is quite out of my control.”

“You’re _always_ in control, Zula.” Ty Lee giggles, rolling her eyes at the princess and shaking her head. Azula’s childhood nickname bringing both of them right back to cartwheeling through the palace garden.

“Well, what other choice do I have?”

“You could, you know, _let go_.” Ty Lee sits up, crossing her legs and turning to Azula with a playful smile.

“To do what exactly?”

“Have _fun_!” Ty Lee widens her eyes with a smile so infectious Azula can’t help but smile too. Ty Lee’s face naturally shining bright in the moonlight, a flame igniting in Azula’s heart dancing to the rhythm of her breathing. Lightning running through her body causing her fingers to tingle and butterflies in her stomach making it impossible for her to speak. Azula lets herself go and falls into the ocean behind those big grey eyes. Her mind wandering off to imagine what it would be like to spend every night like this. Ty Lee right by her side banishing time and duties, abandoning her status and responsibilities. If it meant she could stay in this moment forever. Watching the sun kiss the earth goodnight. A play of silent beauty as the moon grows taller in the distance. Colors growing out of places too far for them to reach but close enough to feel its radiating warmth on their bodies. Becoming one under the stars.

And much as Azula wants to give in to the moment to make it her own, the butterflies in her stomach die as she gazes back into the night. Her neck stiffens and her jaw clenches, grinding her teeth.

“I don’t have that luxury.”

Ty Lee has been watching the princess and she although she isn’t surprised, she still feels her heart sink when Azula rejects her own desires.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep.“ Ty Lee folds her hands in her lab.

“You didn’t.” Keeping her focus on one particular star in the night sky, the princess falls back into silence. A silence so heavy on Ty Lee’s shoulders, she feels the pressure to hunch over. She starts playing with her fingernails, picking on her skin, tearing it off like the moment that just passed.

“I don’t have the same freedom as everyone else.” Azula’s voice as stern as one of her general’s. “I have duties. I have orders to give and to obey. I have responsibilities towards a whole nation because that’s what I was born to do. To lead.”

“Do you sometimes wish you could do something else? Live a normal life, I mean. Away from all of that.” Ty Lee dares to ask, using this rare chance of truth to see if her Azula was still there.

“I can’t afford to think this way, Ty Lee. The mere thought makes me a traitor to my nation. To my father.”

“But if you had the choice-“

“I don’t have choices, Ty Lee. This is my life.” Irritation in her voice she looks at the acrobat but turns away quickly when she realizes she made her jump. “This is my destiny.” She exhales.

With a heavy heart Ty Lee falls back into silence, her eyes focusing on the wood under her legs. The acrobat might not understand entirely, but she is empathetic enough to understand that Azula’s life isn’t an easy one. She understands that there are certain things available to Azula that aren’t available to her, simply by being born royal. Surprisingly, Ty Lee never spent a lot of time thinking about whether or not she has availability to things Azula doesn’t. It never crossed her mind if Azula even desired these aspects of life, like going to parties, loosening up or the simple act of doing nothing – having a day off. Ty Lee was unaware that what is norm to her might be a privilege to the princess. Her own ignorance makes Ty Lee’s stomach turn and when she imagines the firebender just wanting to be Azula for a day, her heart grows even heavier in her chest. After all, Azula might be restricted to be the princess for as long as she lives.

After a while she looks up at her friend and if she isn’t mistaken, she sees a single tear creeping out of the princess’ eye socket. A moment of vulnerability she won’t witness any time soon again. She wants to take her into her arms, hold her tight and stroke her cheek, but she knows it isn’t her place. She swallows her desire for touch and finds determination to cheer up her friend instead.

She nudges Azula with her elbow. “Hey, at least today you got be normal. Today you were just as common as everyone else in the Firenation. I mean, except for smashing Chan’s house. That was pretty extra.” Ty Lee shakes her head, smiling at the thought of how chaotic the four of them can be together. “But I can imagine that was the most enjoyable part for you today.”

“That was indeed satisfying.” Azula admits with a smile, wiping away what Ty Lee identified as a tear. The princess liked a good letting-off-steam-session once in a while. “But you are mistaken. As pleasant as that was, it was not the highlight of my day.”

“Then what was?” Tilting her head at the princess, smirking ever so innocently.

Azula swallows, the words seem to have left her as her hands begin to feel clammy against her bouncing knee. She feels Ty Lee’s eyes on her as the heat rises up to her cheekbones she looks down to her hands and she finally whispers: “Being here with you.”

And as soon as Azula looks up to see the acrobat’s reaction, her eyes widen when she sees Ty Lee’s face move towards her own. As if she was just chi blocked by the other girl, Azula is paralyzed and only stares into Ty Lee’s eyes, scared to move and scared to breathe. In a matter of seconds Ty Lee has moved so close Azula can count all of her freckles and feel her breath on her cheeks. The sweet scent of lavender running up Azula’s nose and goosebumps peeking through her skin. She holds her breath as her own eyes can’t decide to either focus on Ty Lee’s eyes or her mouth. Those pink, full lips slightly parted waiting to find its match. And before Azula gets to decide Ty Lee takes her face into her hands and pulls her in, closing the distance between them. Blue lightening shooting through Azula’s body as Ty Lee presses her lips onto hers. Her eyes still open unable to process the tingling sensation in her mouth she realizes she has been holding her breath for too long. Her hands shaking, she desperately holds onto Ty Lee’s back, making the other girl press even harder. Finally, she finds her control and gives in to the sensation, closing her eyes and exhaling all her fears and doubts, sucking on Ty Lee’s lips like it’s the only thing keeping her alive. As they are both moving in rhythm to their longing for the other, Ty Lee’s hands move up to Azula’s neck, grabbing her hair and pushing her in even more. Butterflies running wild and hearts pounding in their chests they don’t stop pushing and pulling until they are all out breath.

Heads rushing and hearts colliding Azula gently brushes her nose against Ty Lee’s and leans against her forehead; the firebender at the acrobat’s mercy. And when the distance between them is too much for them to bear, they meet again; the moon their only witness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay I'm back! Thank you everyone for the sweet comments on the last chapter, I really appreciate your words. I'm doing this for fun and to keep my creative energy flowing, so if you have any feedback or questions don't be shy! If you liked what you read you can leave kudos or comments - either way I just hope this is a story you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing it.  
> I'm happy you found your way back and if you're new, then hello & welcome :)


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